Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
