you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
