Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
