Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
