Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
