I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
