she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
