Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
