i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
