too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can't talk, ducks in the car
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
