his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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