my vag is so smooth its legendary
My cat gives me a boner
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
