One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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