all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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