This dress was meant to end up on your floor
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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