someone get that fucking seahorse.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
