I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
