Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Text me some of your sweat
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
