I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
