I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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