My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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