quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
