I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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