Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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