just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we're so committed to being not committed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
