Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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