Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
