community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
