On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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