your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
