what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
