Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
