You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
