I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
