Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
