so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
