I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
