Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
