Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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