Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
