how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my phone needs a breathalizer
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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