I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
