No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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