just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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