wanna go halves on a baby?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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