I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
