sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Come share oat with me in your robe
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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