god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
