after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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