We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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