I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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