just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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