Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
