Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
