he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
